Today, I'm starting a new series that unlike my past articles, has nothing to do with music or film. It does still fall under the banner of pop culture, but it's the far more interactive culture of theme parks.
There's probably a discourse to be had about whether theme parks are culturally significant or just overindulgences of entertaining fun, but that's best saved for another time.
Instead, I'd like to discuss one of the best theme parks ever made, Walt Disney's Magic Kingdom Park. Originally intended as a superior version of Disneyland, which had begun to suffer from corporate interference, Magic Kingdom opened in 1971 and has been steadily popular ever since.
Despite sitting in the theme park Mecca of the world, Magic Kingdom remains the most visited park in the entire world. It's certainly undergone many changes through the years, but the overall execution of Walt's vision has endured as the attendance shows. As such, there's still a lot to love about Disney World's crown jewel, especially with its multitude of themed lands.
For this new series, I want to look at each individual land and talk about its very best element and its very worst. With such a large park, there are many things to love in each land, but there are also things that just irk me every time I visit.
I'm sure there will be a few things you might disagree with me on, which is fine. Feel free to let me know in the comments how well/poor my choices are. As for now though, these are my favorite and least favorite aspects of every land in the Magic Kingdom.
Main Street, U.S.A.
Best: Instant Immersion
Perhaps Magic Kingdom's most underrated land, Main Street, U.S.A has the rather large onus of introducing guests into the world of Disney. With the promise of pirates, ghosts, and princesses on the horizon, the anticipation of entering Magic Kingdom runs high.
Luckily though, as soon as you step foot into Main Street you are immediately immersed in Disney's world of whimsy. Stylized like a turn of the century American town, Main Street's shops and restaurants are all themed to make you feel like you've entered a world lost to time. It's a trick that can only be pulled off with a detailed design. The faux facades of shops gives the street a bustling feel, while the dapper outfits and decor sell the look.
Even more, Disney famously utilizes the smellitizers to push the scents of popcorn, candy, and other sweets into the streets to entice guests in. This all leads to the greatest detail of all, Cinderella's castle looming in the distance, which draws the crowds completely in.
Main Street's atmosphere is both detailed and immediately felt. It's also impressive at night, as the lights nearly engulf every corner of the quaint facades. Very few lands can impact a parkgoer like Main Street does, especially with such a quickly immersive and enticing feeling.
Worst: The Shops
That being said, Main Street's biggest strength leaves it with one glaring flaw: its shops. While the facades of the shops provide a great immersion, the shops themselves are quite lackluster. Although there appears to be a variety of shops, there's really just one large store selling the same old Disney merchandise.
Of course, I nor anyone else should be surprised that Disney is selling merchandise. However, with such a finely detailed look, the shops could definitely offer something more unique than the typical toys and shirts you can get at Disney Springs. Perhaps they could apply the turn of the century art style to classic Disney characters or offer something that feels like it could possibly come from the period.
Even if all the shops must remain connected, they could provide more unique shopping options, similar to the stores in Epcot or Disney Springs. At this point, my family rarely steps foot into those shops, as they never really offer anything worth buying. Now, the sweet shops and bakeries are entirely different story.
Adventureland
Best: The Attractions
The first land to actually feature attractions, Adventureland thankfully makes good on its namesake by delivering some exciting rides and experiences. While most lands are best remembered for their rides, Adventureland not only offers a variety of attractions, but ensures that each one fits into this exotic corner of the park.
For starters, there are the two iconic boat rides, the world famous Jungle Cruise and the franchise spurning Pirates of the Caribbean. Neither are exactly thrill rides, but they both offer incredible experiences few theme parks can match. The Jungle Cruise's combination of animatronics and campy jokes elevates the boat ride into a theatric experience.
Meanwhile, the Pirates of the Caribbean takes guests into the swashbuckling world of the pirates, complete with effects that impress to this day, transformative scents, and a song you'll be humming for the rest of the day.
Elsewhere, younger guests can enjoy The Magic Carpets of Aladdin and Swiss Family Treehouse, two attractions that offer thorough fun for often negligible waits. Lastly, older guests often take a liking to the Enchanted Tiki Room, a transformative show that has wowed guests since opening day.
In addition to offering something for everyone, each attraction is well themed to the exotic environments of a faraway land. The Jungle Cruise dock makes it feel like an authentic river expedition, while the dungeon queue for Pirates creates a brooding atmosphere that easily transitions you onto the ride. Even the area around the Magic Carpets feels like a bazaar Aladdin might visit.
With several must ride attractions and excellent theming, Adventureland's greatest strength is why it's still one of the most popular lands in the Magic Kingdom.
Worst: Limited Food
Of all the lands, Adventureland might just have the least offensive offense. Although my pick is the food, it's really not that bad. Afterall, Adventureland features the iconic cheeseburger spring rolls, a pretty decent Jungle Cruise restaurant, and a plethora of dole whip variations to rave over. Besides those offerings though, there's not much else to eat.
Perhaps the worst offense is lacking a true place to sit down and enjoy any of these snacks (unless of course you can get a reservation at the Jungle Navigation Skipper Canteen). Since Adventureland tends to get a lot of sun, this can be quite irksome, especially in the middle of the day. Again though, Frontierland's Pecos Bill isn't too far, so this isn't a major grievance either.
In fact, the only true food failure in Adventureland is Tortuga Tavern, a seasonal quick service restaurant that often serves nothing related to the land. However, Disney is rumored to be replacing this with a Pirates themed bar and lounge, so this is a blemish that'll hopefully be erased soon. If that's the case, Adventureland should become a pretty well rounded land worthy of the attention it often gets.
Frontierland
Best: That Instantly Recognizable Music
There's honestly a lot of details required to craft a successful land. Of course, the rides and food are more immediately noticeable, but one aspect that's often overlooked is the music. Required to overpower the hustle and bustle of moving guests, background music is crucial to a well enveloping land.
Many lands of the Magic Kingdom have great music, but none utilize them quite as well as Frontierland. As soon as the music hits your ears, you don't even need to open your eyes to tell which land you're in. The country combination of banjos, acoustic guitars, and fiddles all swell together, imbuing Frontierland with a jovial, but rustic spirit.
While the antiquated country tunes might not be for everyone, but they are unquestionably apt for the land. Just as classic Western films had compelling soundtracks, Frontierland places its music in the forefront, guiding you into the spirit of the area. In fact, many of the attractions, such as Tiana's Bayou Adventure and The Country Bear Jamboree, even emphasize the importance of music in daily life.
Despite being a fantasized version of the Wild West, Frontierland harbors a fun and adventurous spirit that's first felt in its stellar soundtrack.
Worst: A Few Underwhelming Attractions
Once upon a time, Frontierland had one of the strongest attraction lineups of any land, including two must ride E Ticket attractions and some nostalgic classics. Nowadays, any ride that isn't named Big Thunder Mountain Railroad is almost guaranteed to underwhelm.
First off, there's the newly reimagined Country Bear Jamboree, that features cover songs from other Disney films. While the original had aged quite a bit, it still had its fair share or fanatics. However, the new version was met with little reaction, coming and going with barely a whimper. Sure, it's no failure, but it is underwhelming.
Then there's Tiana's Bayou Adventure, which replaced the beloved Splash Mountain. Without going too much into the ride's "complicated" history, it's tough to deny that Splash Mountain was one of the most popular rides in all of Disney World. Thus, any retheme needed to be a major improvement in order to win over fans.
Sadly, Tiana's Bayou Adventure ultimately proved disappointing. The new effects are fine, but can hardly make up for the lack of story and tension needed for a ten minute ride. If this was just another ride to augment the land's lineup, nobody would care much. Instead, Frontierland lost perhaps its finest ride for middling retheme that doesn't even fit the land.
The resulting lineup proves to be an underwhelming mix carried by Big Thunder Mountain, which isn't exactly the newest ride. It's honestly no surprise that Disney just announced two new Cars attractions, as Frontierland desperately needs the boost.
Liberty Square
Best: The Food
The second Magic Kingdom land that isn't titled as a land, Liberty Square can sometimes be overlooked. However, doing so would be a mistake, as Liberty Square boasts some of the best food in the entire park. While every land has fine offerings, Liberty Square capitalizes on centuries of American cooking to deliver delicious favorites and comfort classics.
Front and center for the land are its two sit down restaurants, The Diamond Horseshoe and Liberty Tree Tavern. Each offer similar menus of classic New England comfort foods, such as pot roast, turkey, and meatloaf. The theming in each is classy but authentically cozy, while the food is all you care to eat, guaranteeing that your dollar is well spent.
In addition, Liberty Square also features two tremendous quick service spots, the first being Sleepy Hollow. A popular breakfast stop, Sleepy Hollow offers delicious waffles, funnel cakes, and corn dogs. Each offering is not only tasty but well portioned too, making them prime for breakfast, lunch, or even dessert.
Lastly, the most popular spot in all of Liberty Square is Columbia Harbour House, a quick service seafood spot. While they are best known for their lobster rolls, they also serve fried fish, fried shrimp, and salmon. Best of all, it offers a large seating area that's air conditioned and themed with classic New England architecture.
With four restaurants that aren't only well regarded but well themed too, Liberty Square remains a must stop land for anyone seeking a solid lunch.
Worst: Just Too Small
Earlier I mentioned how often Liberty Square gets overlooked for the flashier lands it's sandwiched between. While I don't condone doing so, it's honestly not surprising, as Liberty Square is just too small.
After all, Liberty Square is, as the name admits, just a square. Like an old New England town, it has some restaurants, shops, and not much else to differentiate itself. If it wasn't for The Haunted Mansion or its stellar lineup of eateries, Liberty Square would rarely see visitors.
Sure, it does have some other offerings, such as the Hall of Presidents and the Liberty Square Riverboat, but neither of these are must do attractions. Instead, they're nice things to check out when the park's really busy, as they never really gather much crowds.
Now, Liberty Square isn't necessarily a bad land. It's theming is well done, it's food tastes great, and it's a nice area to stroll through. However, there's just not enough to draw guests in, resulting in it becoming an afterthought for many.
With a lack of space and Tom Sawyer Island being replaced, it seems that Liberty Square won't be adding anything either, leaving it as the forgotten land of Magic Kingdom.
Fantasyland
Best: Attractions, Attractions, Attractions
In many ways, Fantasyland has come to define Magic Kingdom. While the other lands offer adventures in different eras and locales, Fantasyland takes us to the fantastic worlds of Disney's films. In all honesty, it's likely what most people expect from the Magic Kingdom, with its colorful decor, renaissance faire look, and assortment of recognizable characters.
It's unsurprising then that Fantasyland not only features some of the best rides in the park, but also the most of any individual land. In fact, Fantasyland has seventeen official attractions, nine more than the next closest land.
Just some of those attractions include The Seven Dwarfs Mine Train, Peter Pan's Flight, "it's a small world," Dumbo the Flying Elephant, and The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. In other words, there's no shortage of attractions to choose from.
Still, Fantasyland's best attribute isn't that there's a lot to do, but rather there's something for everyone. Disney prides itself on offering rides for all ages, and Fantasyland best exemplifies this. It has a roller coaster, Seven Dwarfs, for anyone seeking thrills but it also features an array of dark rides that the entire family can enjoy. There's even a theater experience at Mickey's PhilharMagic, which always proves a big hit with the kids and anyone who enjoys sitting down in the AC.
With rides that spin, rides that move fast, and rides that are steady fun, Fantasyland offers the most crowd pleasing selection in the Magic Kingdom.
Worst: A Lack Of Cohesion
In all honesty, Fantasyland lacks any major flaws as it's a well rounded area. That being said, Fantasyland's worst attribute is likely its theming.
Now, Fantasyland isn't exactly poorly themed. Each area, from the faire grounds to the circus in the back all look like they are supposed to. Instead, the problem arises when considering how cohesive the theming is altogether. Outside of each area being considered fantasy, nothing really ties them into each other.
First, there are the faire grounds, which fit with Cinderella's castle but don't really connect with the rides they offer. Sure, the theming is nostalgic, but medieval faires have nothing to do with Peter Pan or "it's a small world."
Then, there's the princess area, (originally dubbed New Fantasyland), that includes Ariel's Grotto, the Mine Train Mountain, and Belle's Castle. While the princess theme certainly unifies this area, going from the mines, to the seaside, and then to the mountains doesn't make too much sense.
Lastly, there's the circus area, which arguably sits outside the realm of fantasy. It's a small area mostly meant for kids, but the Barnstormer, a Goofy driven kiddie coaster doesn't fit with the circus theming either.
While this is still a minor grievance, Fantasyland truly has the least cohesion of all the lands. Other lands like Adventureland do a great job of unifying different attractions. In Fantasyland though, you can go from the Hundred Acre Woods to Ariel's Grotto to a Circus in a matter of seconds. Luckily, it's an issue that most won't mind, as the fun of Fantasyland is more enticing than any theming discrepancies.
Tomorrowland
Best: The Roller Coasters
The final land of Magic Kingdom also happens to be one of its most iconic, Tomorrowland. Offering plenty of retro futuristic design and space age fun, Tomorrowland is easily one of the Magic Kingdom's highlights.
It's hardly surprising then that Tomorrowland offers a plethora of attractions, both old and new alike. Unfortunately though, many of them aren't exactly E ticket rides, such as the infamous Tomorrowland Speedway. What is undeniable though is that Tomorrowland has some of the best roller coasters on Disney property.
The first is Space Mountain, which can be seen well before you even enter the Magic Kingdom. Inside those towering white spires is a family coaster that shoots you through the stars. It's ultimately just a rocket ride through the dark with some lights added, but the fun music and whizzing motion make this a total blast. What's even crazier is that it's still one of the park's most popular attractions despite being nearly fifty years old.
However, Space Mountain is no longer the most popular coaster in Tomorrowland, as that title now belongs to TRON: Lightcyle/Run. This coaster garnered great anticipation after debuting in Shanghai Disneyland eight years ago.
Luckily, TRON doesn't disappoint, as it brings the iconic lightcylce to life with all the speed expected. Going nearly twice as fast as its neighboring coaster, TRON satisfies any thrill seeker's itch, while also bringing you to a glowing future. What's more, TRON also offers a different experience at night, something Space Mountain couldn't really deliver.
With two great coasters geared to different audiences, Tomorrowland might just be the best coaster spot in Disney World. If only we could add a third where that pesky Speedway is.
Worst: The Food
While some of the other lands only have minor flaws, Tomorrowland carries some egregiously undeniable ones. This spot very nearly went to the horrendous Tomorrowland Speedway, but there's at least several great attractions nearby to compensate for its conclusion.
What can't be overcome though, is Tomorrowland's food. The best restaurant in all of Tomorrowland is actually Auntie Gravity's Galactic Goodies, which is no more than a solid ice cream joint. There are a few other meh stops, such as Joffrey's Coffee and Energy Bytes. Sadly, the rest are less than stellar.
First off, there's the Tomorrowland Terrace, which is hardly ever open. When it is though, it tends to be underwhelming, serving similar food to the Columbia Harbor House.
Next, there's the Lunching Pad, which despite its clever name offers no innovative food. They mostly serve hot dogs and pretzels, which usually yield okay to negative reviews. Honestly though, who would get an average hot dog here when you could walk five minutes for a great one at Casey's Corner?
Lastly, there's the infamous Cosmic Ray's Starlight Cafe. Now, Cosmic Ray's does offer some bonuses, such as plenty of indoor seating. It's also popular with families, as it serves burgers, chicken, and fries. That being said, the food quality is just so poor that I would never advise anyone to eat there. There's nothing wrong with serving plain food, but charging ridiculous prices for mediocre food is shameful.
Overall, the state of Tomorrowland's food is quite uninspiring. What they could really use is a great sit down experience, perhaps something similar to Space 220, but less expensive. Either way, Disney needs to add something new here unless they're okay with people eating in every other land before this one.
